Love Song Requiem
by cat.cruz93
Summary: a songfic about Jem and Tessa. Clockwork Prince spoilers. Kinda fluffy, Jem/Tessa and a little Will/Tessa towards the end. Read Review Enjoy!


**Love Song Requiem**

**So i kinda found this song while surfing youtube looking up random artists that i like. i heard the lyrics and instantly thought of Tessa and Jem in the _Clockwork Prince . _i know some of this stuff won't make sense because i'm still reading it, but i kinda wrote _In dreams_ well the half that you see Jem in, in his point of view. and i know that the latin phrase at the end isn't the one Shadowhunters use, but i think it suits Jem well. better than the original phrase did. any way enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Love Song Requiem belongs to Trading Yesterday and the Clockwork Prince belongs to Cassandra Clare**

**Caution to those who have not read Clockwork Prince, spoilers. although i tried not to give much away**

Jem/ Tessa

_**Emily will find a better place to fall asleep, she belongs to fairytales that I could never be. The future haunts with memories that I could never have, but hope is just a stranger wondering how it got too bad.**_

Tessa was fast asleep in the infirmary, Jem sat at the foot of her bed, watching...Hoping she could hear every word he said, "I love you." He murmured, Tessa did not stir, did not show she even knew he was there. Jem touched his chest where the ache of worry had settled, not only was his best friend unconscious with serious injuries to his back, but the love of his life lay before him just as still as if she were dead. Jem blinked back tears, hoping she would return to consciousness soon. Jem then left the infirmary and retired to his bedroom. His pale eyes glanced over the dark powder on his bedside table; he flinched away and sat down on his bed. "Maybe Will is better for her…I won't last much longer anyway." Jem thought aloud. Saying that didn't make him feel any better, he almost wanted to throw the powder away and live on without it…._but that would be stupid wouldn't it? I'd die within the next month if I did that. _He thought sighing and flopping backwards on his bed in a most un-Jem like manner.

"_Don't speak like that, Jem, you know that they are working on a cure, you'll be healthy before you know it!" Tessa said looking up at Jem with so much hope that he couldn't help but smile. That's what he liked about her, her unfailing hope in the future. _

Jem smiled at the memory, Tessa always had a way of making him feel better about his circumstances. "If only I could make all her dreams come true…" he said to no one in particular. He closed his eyes and imagined Tessa smiling at him in only a way Tessa could, she was wearing a beautiful wedding gown. Then he saw her in the shadow hunter gear fighting off demons with him and Will. Jem then laughed aloud at the irony of his imagination. _if they happen…I won't be there for them…sadly…_he thought sitting up and staring out his window.

_**I die each time you look away, my heart, my life will never be the same. This love will take my everything, one breathe, one touch will be the end of me. **_

Jem sat in his room remembering the events of the past few days, he noticed his behavior was very unlike himself. But he was glad Tessa didn't find his behavior out of line, well in his mind they agreed the happenings were mutual, at least she hadn't shunned him, he would feel awful if she had. He would never forgive himself and possibly die of a broken heart, or it would increase the process of death anyway.

_**You could be the final straw that brings me back to earth. Ever-waiting airports full of love that you deserve. Wishing I could find a way to wash away the past, know that my heart would break, but at least the pain will last. **_

"_I think I'm in love with that downworlder, Jem." Will bright eyes pierced Jem as he spoke, as if challenging Jem to deny it. Jem merely shook his head and looked away. "No, really! She's beautiful and funny and smart, not bad of a fighter either." Will said. Jem agreed internally but externally didn't say a word. This was Will, he'd probably bed her in the next week and forget about her, breaking poor Tessa's heart in the process. Jem would have to protect her from Will and his wild boorish ways, if there was one thing he knew, it was that Tessa was not one of Will's play things. _

Jem huffed as he stood up the next morning to go down to breakfast. _Another morning without Tessa_, he thought as he made his way down the stairs into the dining room. He saw that Will had reached full recovery and was seated in his normal spot at the table, Jem's eyes traveled to the empty chair that Tessa normally sat in, he felt his heart break a little when he saw she was still not there. "She was awake for a bit this morning, just before dawn, I spoke with her before she went back to sleep." Will said as if answering Jem's unspoken question. Jem looked at Will with a slight hope that she mentioned him. Will shook his head, "She didn't say much just mere ramblings of a delirious person." Jem looked down nodding. He sat at his place at the table and sighed hoping Tessa would officially awake today.

_**I die each time you look away, my heart, my life will never be the same. This love will take my everything, one breathe, one touch will be the end of me. **_

"Master Jem? Miss Tessa is awake and wishes to see you." Sophie said popping her head into the library were the boys sat reading. Jem stood up and left the room to find Tessa sitting up in her bed, her eyes puffy from over sleeping, her curly brown hair bedraggled, Jem could help but smile at her child like appearance.

"Jem!" Tessa said excitedly, Jem's smile grew as he fought the urge to run to her and hold her tightly in his arms.

"Good morning Tess." He said as Tessa reached out for him, he grabbed her hand and held it.

"Sophie told me you were worried nearly senseless that I wouldn't wake. Please tell me that was mere gossip."

"No, it's the truth." He chuckled as Tessa's grey eyes filled with pity, she leaned into him. Jem fought back a gasp of surprise and wrapped his arms around her.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cause such worry."

"Tessa, I think I have a right to worry about you." He said as Tessa buried her head in his chest.

"I know, I just don't want you worrying yourself sick" was the muffled reply. Jem laughed again and gently unknotted some of her sleep induced tangles.

_**Emily will find a better place to fall asleep. Maybe she will save me in the oceans of her dream, and maybe someday live. Maybe someday live…**_

Tessa sat in her black dress at the grave site.

_ James "Jem" Carstairs _

_ Born 1862- Died 1881_

_A beloved brother, friend, fiancé_

_Veni ,vidi, vici_

Will came up behind her, "We'll all miss him, Tess." He stood in the traditional shadow hunter white with red grieving runes around the cuffs. Tessa stood up to yell at the welsh boy, but she couldn't muster the strength, she collapsed into his arms and cried. Will stared at the grave marker and felt tears of his own slide down his face as he held Tessa. "Hush, Tess, hush." He whispered softly, gently just like his parabatai would, he rubbed small circles in her back as she cried. He hummed a soft welsh lullaby in her ear as her sobs slowed and soon stopped, she didn't pull away, just stayed in his arms, safe and soothed…for now…

_**Maybe someday live. **_


End file.
